Tim Vine may be one of the best loved comedians in Britain these days but he didn't always earn his money from comedy.
The Cheam-born funny-man once held the record for most jokes told in an hour, 499, and starred in BBC One sitcom Not Going Out, but had a rather less glamorous profession when he was younger.
"My first ever job was at Allders in Croydon," he says.
"My title was 'mobile float' and I thought that meant I would be driving a little cart around but it actually meant I was just sent where I was needed.
"For some reason I kept being stuck on the net curtain department and I hated it."
From there, Vine turned to comedy and did his first stand-up routine above in a flat above Cheam Cafe, but is now regularly found touring the country showing off his long list of puns.
"It takes me about six to eight months to put a routine together, and then when on tour I move little bits around if I think it would work better," he says.
"You have to be ruthless - if I tell a joke which I think is funny but nobody laughs it has to go - simple as that.
"To practice I usually go to comedy clubs and do 15 minutes of puns just reading them off postcards, then go back another night and do another 15.
"I end up with all these ticks and crosses and then put the show together from that.
"With the puns I have to learn them off by heart as they are so short - "three cheers for rap - hip, hop....." - that if I was just making them up as I went along there would be too many pauses and I would look a bit of an idiot on stage.
"There is no narrative to the show whatsoever, it is just me standing up there trying to make the audience laugh."
Tim Vine: The Joke-Amotive, Epsom Playhouse, March 1, 8pm, £16. Call 01372 742555 or visit epsomplayhouse.co.uk.
Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, March 8, 8pm, £17.50. Call 020 8688 9291 or visit fairfield.co.uk.
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