A Closed Book would be very much at home as a theatrical thriller playing at the Fortune theatre in Covent Garden. You would also no doubt leave the building with the feeling that you’ve been entertained by some top notch actors. Now here’s the thing…as a movie the whole thing seems somewhat corny and would feel at home as a sinister episode from the much loved 80’s TV series ‘Tales of the Unexpected’.

The plot is simple. Sir Paul (Tom Conti) is a distinguished wealthy art critic and author who was blinded in a terrible accident five years ago. He sets up an interview process at his creepy mansion deep in the English countryside and is looking for an assistant to help write his biography. After dismissing a bunch of unsuitable male candidates to be his eyes (no really, he actually has no eyes!) he settles for an attractive and intelligent woman Jane Ryder (Daryl Hannah) who unfortunately seems to have over done it with collagen injections in her lips which makes Hannah look more like ‘Stifflers Mum’ than Madison the mermaid.

From the moment that Jane accepts her new job we are aware that she has a more sinister motif. It’s not long before this ideal assistant and companion reveals a sadistic streak. Sir Paul has memorised the layout of the house and weaves his way through the furniture and suits of armour with ease and even takes time to prune himself in front of a mirror that is all but redundant. Jane convinces the stereotypical Scottish housekeeper (Miriam Margoyles) to take some time off and when she is left alone with Sir Paul the whole house is mysteriously re-arranged and Sir Paul starts bumping into everything like a pinball.

Jane continues the cruel mind games with her constant lies when asked to describe certain things and even makes up shocking headlines from the national newspapers such as Madonna’s murder outside the Groucho Club. Mind you, I was actually interested to find out what was driving her to behave in this manner, was it revenge? Had they met before? Had he run over her cat? There are two good reasons for sticking it out to the end. There is a twist to the story and Daryl Hannah does get her kit off.