It has been a week of booze-related stories.

Oceana nightclub gets its licence back and can stay open (with conditions of course), the club’s owners reveal they are considering a name change, and plans are also mooted to introduce restrictions on boozing in parts of Kingston town centre.

This would mean it it would be an offence to carry on drinking after a police officer tells you to stop.

Here we go again with attempts to tackle what I call the “English disease”.

Some measures are to be commended, but they always seems to be tackling the symptoms and not the cause.

I remember a couple of years ago, while on holiday in Paris, walking over the Pont Neuf bridge at midnight.

A group of drunk French youths had gathered and were obviously in high spirits.

One thing that was immediately noticeable, however, was that there was no sense of menace in the air.

No sense that a fight might kick off at any moment. I remember turning to my friend and he’d noticed it too.

“Imagine if this was England,” he said.

Last summer I visited Barcelona to see a band. After the gig – which was in an edge of town nightclub – the venue stayed open until 6am.

It was packed, and people were dancing and drinking all night.

Again, at no point did I see any fights or antisocial behaviour – despite being surrounded by drunk people.

And I’ve had the same experience in many foreign cities.

Were these freak events? Of course not.

When compared with other countries, what an embarrassing, immature race the English are.

Anyway, I’m going out to get slaughtered, urinate in a shop doorway and then kick in a bus stop. Cheers!