As Peep Show – the Croydon-set sitcom about David Mitchell and Robert Webb’s dysfunctional flat mates - begins its final series this week, we take a look back at our favourite moments from the first eight seasons.
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The 3-0 Walcott millions
Jez has ‘burnt the band’, but it’s OK, he’s too big to fail and he’s always got the 3-0 Walcott millions. As Mark explains: “Jeremy’s planning to sell the headline 3-0 Walcott to a tabloid newspaper when Theo Walcott turns 30 and we’ve agreed not to argue whether that’s a good plan.”
Here's an image from the new series of Peep Show, starting this week.
‘He’s nicked your idea?’
Jez and Super Hans recruit Barney to ‘join’ their band after Jeremy listens to his music.
Jez: “Listening to this, it did make me think, lately, I've been having some ideas and this is exactly the sort of thing that I was thinking of doing.”
Super Hans: “He's nicked your idea?”
Jez: “Well, has he? That's what I'm wondering. Nicked my idea and then done it back to me.”
‘I’m going to pretend I am watching Heat’
While watching a play…
Jeremy: “I’ve got Heat on DVD at home. We’re watching this when for less money we could be watching Robert De Niro AND Al Pacino.”
Mark: “I’m going to pretend I am watching Heat.”
‘How can I buy some time?’
Mark is terrified of marrying Sophie and on the morning of the wedding desperately looks for excuses to avoid the ceremony, including proposing to a waitress in a coffee shop and trying to get run over.
“Need time to think. How can I buy some time? Contract TB – but where from? No badgers. Try to get beaten up? I could say ‘he’s got a fat head’. Call him a jizz-c**k. Not actually an insult, all cocks are jizz c**ks really. Be like calling him a piss kidney.”
‘I’m ordering you to stop’
Hiding upstairs at the church to avoid Mark’s wedding, but Jeremy needs the loo. Mark tells him ‘If you really can't hold it in, then you'll just have to...piss yourself’. Jeremy takes him very literally.
And then I go and spoil it all…
Mark’s trying to woo Sophie with a voicemail. He rambles on, starts singing the Frank and Nancy Sinatra song ‘And then I go and spoil it all...’ but bottles it then says ‘I LIKE you’. Then makes things worse by telling her to replace the paper in the photocopier.
Sectioning
Mark and Jez’s friend Merry gets sectioned and when Mark tries to stop Jeremy and Super Hans exploiting her, they threaten to get him sectioned.
Super Hans (to doctor): He’s gone nuts. You need to section him, he’s out of his mind…
“…He’s a loony. He was running around with his c**k out before, saying it was on fire. He’s lost it. He thinks there’s a pigeon in Catalonia that isn’t in control of his legs.”
‘This is wine’
We’ve all been there. Jez’s paying and Suze orders the most expensive wine on the menu.
Tasting it, “Oh, that is fantastic! This, this is wine. Look at what these idiots are drinking. Look at these d***s…obviously it’s not really delicious like hot chocolate or coke, but for wine…mwah, brilliant.
Mark goes running
Another time Peep Show has spoken for all of us. Mark goes for a run with Big Suze. For all of 30 seconds, he’s a ‘natural jogger’.
“I’m Cram, I’m Ovett, I’m unstoppable…Jesus, is that a stitch? F**k, I’m going to be sick.”
Never socks before pants
This is a lesson every man should be aware of. ‘Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants. That’s the rule. Makes a man look scary, like a chicken. Thanks Mark.
- Peep Show is on Channel 4 tomorrow (Wednesday, November 11) at 10pm.
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