Reading press releases can be wonderful thing. You enter a very special world of jargon and double speak. Local authorities, Government departments and the police are generally best for finding gems like the following.

A holistic approach - A what? You what? Doesn’t that mean eating lots of nuts and fruit and things.
- A multi-agency approach - You mean more than one group or department working together. Wow, that’s real …
- Blue sky thinking - People who use this term should be immediately strapped to a rocket and launched into that there blue sky.
- Street furniture - Huh? What there’s a sofa, an easy chair and a foot rest now lining the pavement?
- Life pronounced extinct or life extinguished. It’s never nice to say someone’s died, but using terms like this really doesn’t improve the situation.
- The patient was conveyed to hospital. Or they were just taken there?
Made good their escape. Or they did a runner.
- Walking the talk - Do what? People who use this term should stick to doing just one thing at a time. Either walk or talk. We might be safer that way.
- Joined-up thinking. Are you the Borg or something? Is this a collective now?
- Thinking outside the box. Those writing or saying this should perhaps slip inside that box, have a wee snooze and stay quiet while we push said box into a river.

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