I’ve been feeling a bit under threat lately, mainly by two things that have appeared from out of nowhere. And now, where ever I look, there they are. What are these 2 things? Ben Fogle and Omega 3.

Ben Fogle is on just about everything these days and it is concerning me for some reason. Three weeks ago, if you would of said the name to me, I would have been like “Ben who? What does he do then?”. Now though, I’m like “oh, him off Extreme Dreams, Animal Park, Cash In The Attic and just about every other show on the BBC”. It’s worrying me.

Omega 3 is appearing everywhere now too. What the hell is this, and how come Suggs from Madness knows all about it?

From what I can gather, it first appeared on some fish fingers, and from there it’s gone from strength to strength, attaching itself to bread and eggs! Seriously, no one has bothered to explain this Omega 3, they’ve just thrown it on labels and said “Yes, it’s a good source for Omega 3, now eat it!” – it could be some sort of brain washing ingredient, designed to wipe our emotions so we are more susceptible to watching boring TV shows present by Ben Fogle. You mark my words, by the time Gordon Brown calls for an election, you'll all be voting for him.

Now, I’ll be the first to say I am not the most knowledgeable of people, but the fact that these two things are now appearing in every waking corner of my life, leads me to believe that both are connected in some sinister way.

Or it could be that I am feeling a little bit paranoid after watching Invasion of the Body Snatchers this weekend.