I think I must have missed something. Just what is the problem with tennis players grunting?

Actually, grunting is not even the right word, if you consider the dictionary definition: to make a short, low sound instead of speaking, usually because of anger or pain.

What the players are in fact doing is audibly expressing the physical exertion of the shot they have just played – although, granted, grunting is a more succinct way of saying that.

But that is exactly my point. And I think everyone who is calling for it to stop might be missing theirs. I’m not sure they can stop it.

Surely that means stopping putting effort into their shots.

Then they’d be tanking, not grunting.

Martina Navratilova calls it cheating, while gentleman Tim Henman said it wasn’t attractive for anyone involved.

Former Wimbledon champion Michael Stich was less diplomatic, claiming female players should stop grunting because it is not sexy and that sex appeal is the main attraction of women’s tennis.

I’ll give that view the response it deserves – a hearty grunt.

It’s certainly the buzz word of this tournament. Now, I know the Brits aren’t doing great, but it still doesn’t explain the obsession with grunting.

Portugal teenager Michelle Larcher De Brito is the latest to bear the grunt brunt. It was all anyone wanted to talk about at her press conference after a 6-2 7-5 first round victory over Klara Zakopalova.

Still, it makes a change from asking female players questions about what they’re wearing.

Ten-time grand slam champion Serena Williams, who has also been probed about her grunting, says it is “definitely not conscious. Sometimes I am so zoned, I don’t grunt; sometimes I’m so zoned I do”.

There’s your problem – they just need to be rezoned.

Wimbledon officials have promised to keep an ear out.

“We will be monitoring the situation. We work together with the international Tennis Federation and other grand slams on this issue,” a tournament spokesman said.

With nine of the 11 Britons losing in the first round at the All England Club, they might want to monitor something closer to home.