After three weeks of being a good boy and keeping out of the borough’s pubs, I was gagging a for a pint. It was just a shame I decided on popping into the Plough.

It’s never a good start when, having negotiated the migraine-inducing carpet, the first thing you notice as you walk in are posters alerting you to the pub’s drugs policy and that you are being monitered by CCTV. Cosy old English pub, this ain’t.

It’s the kind of place where a motley crew of hardcore regulars hang-out alongside the usual mixture of decorators, plumbers, and plasterers. Now, there’s nothing wrong in that at all, but the Plough lacks the charm and warmth which the casual pubgoer looks for.

My visit coincided with a recent Sutton United match which was taking place over the road at the Borough Sports Ground.

While hundreds of hardy souls trudged to the match, I noticed only one person who made the Plough his pre-game drinking destination of choice. That’s hardly a glowing endorsement.

You would think a pub would jump at the chance to gain some custom from an event which attracts so many people, so close by. Not the Plough. It seems happy just to muddle along.

I bought a pint of Young’s Bitter and perched myself on a rather uncomfortable metal stool from where I noticed the chalk boards were devoid of drink or food offers but there is a decent-sized area for those who fancy a game of pool or darts.

As my migraine kicked-in, I decided it was time to leave. Besides, the dregs of my pint – complete with floaty bits – wasn’t really worth hanging around for.

The Plough, 155 Gander Green Lane, Sutton, SM1 2EZ. 020 8641 8134.

How the pub rates (out of five):

DECOR: XX Cold, with the odd bit of blue tack on the walls. This place has seen better days.

DRINK: XXX A reasonable selection including Courage Best, Kronenbourg, Carling, Stella and Strongbow.

PRICE: XXX £2.85 for a pint of Young’s Bitter is ok.

ATMOSPHERE: X What atmosphere?

STAFF: XX Looked like they’d drawn the short straws.