Like most creatures of the night who are of a certain vintage, my natural habitat is a darkened corner of a boozer with a glass of ale as my only friend.

To be honest, I get more sense out of a pint of beer than I do some of my friends, so it’s an arrangement which suits me perfectly.

I love being hunched over a table, contemplating life’s peaks and troughs – OK, just the troughs, then – while supping a pint of bitter or two, and of course, not talking to a soul.

However, once in a while I need to step out of the cosy confines of my comfort zone, as was the case last week when I popped into All Bar One in Sutton.

I had to smarten-up my act for this swanky bar, so it made an ideal place to show off my shiny new shoes which I bought from ShoeZone on the High Street, my new shirt, acquired from TJ Hughes, and a smart pair of shades I picked up at Poundland, which I wore on my head, just like trendy people do.

There’s no escaping it, this bar tends to attract a classier clientele when compared to the pub’s and bars I normally go to. I was dressed to impress and had no trouble fitting in, I think.

The treatment I received was classy too. The bar staff were not only smart and polite, but also very attentive.

They needed to be knowledgeable too, there’s a fine array of fancy foreign lagers available, but being a bitter man, I wasn’t interested in any of that old nonsense, so opted for a pint of Doom Bar.

I arrived late on a weekday night, which made my shades redundant, but undeterred I sat down and tried to look as cool as possible.

It’s open-plan layout makes All Bar One a great place for pleasant post-work drinks or a pre-party pint and the atmosphere is very chilled.

Outside there is a small seating area for those who want to be seen and take advantage of the good weather.

The open-plan thing may not be to everyone’s taste, but let’s be honest, some punters are out on the prowl on a Friday and Saturday night, so the uninterrupted view of who’s hot and who’s not helps lonely liquor lovers keep an eye on the talent.

My talent, sadly, is drinking quietly in the corner. And no, nobody checked me out.

With that in mind, it’s back to the darkened corner of a backstreet boozer for me.

All Bar One, 2 Hill Road, Sutton, SM1 1DZ

Decor: XXX Tasteful. Nothing too fancy, plenty of seating. Very neat and tidy.

DRINK: XXX A fine selection of lagers you don’t normally get elsewhere, plus two of my old favourite ales – Doom Bar and London Pride.

PRICE: XX At £3.25, the Doom Bar isn’t too bad, I guess.

ATMOSPHERE: XXX Cool vibes, man.

STAFF: XXXXX I couldn’t fault this lot. Really very helpful and well presented.